PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Condo Decorating Ideas

 

If I ever own a condominium unit in the White Mountains that I make available to the public for rentals, I’m going to decorate it with Hawaiian themes, like my friend Todd does on his front lawn for Halloween (in Somerville, MA). Todd recognizes that palm trees improve a neighborhood's karma. Of course, when your neighbors decorate their lawn with severed limbs, even a few tipped-over garbage cans and untended-to dog doo will improve the karma.

My analysis is that most White Mountaineers are beholden to lobbyists representing New Hampshire moose, which is why you can’t rent a condo in New Hampshire without being subjected to moose themes left and right. Moose feel threated by guns even more than humans do (believe it or not) and anything that gets the public behind them is good for the moose community. I get that. And yes, the bear lobby has made inroads in New Hampshire condo rentals as well, securing the rights to display sculptures of bears holding welcome signs, bear families in the woods watching football, and cutesy signs of bear prints in the ground with a note that “bear feet are welcome!”

But that's where the variety ends: with bear and moose. Why not introduce southwestern themes, like cacti and gila monsters? What do you have against Arizona, anyway? Yes, it’s hot as the dickens down there, but keep in mind that it’s a dry heat.

(By now you’ve conducted your own analysis, which concludes that I don’t have much to write about today).

It Takes All Types
Best And Final
 

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Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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