PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Beat The Heat

For the better part of the last month I’ve been telling people that our family vacation would be spent in Antarctica.

Everyone is fascinated. “Antarctica, just think! They live such exciting lives, those Pat McVays. Why can’t our family have a vacation like that?” My neighborhood is in a tizzy over the very thought. It’s a preposterous claim, but once I tell people there’s really no going back.

“Oh, yes, the beaches are very nice,” I say. “The water is a lot warmer than you think.” Of course, it’s the dead of winter in Antarctica, but you can always count on northern hemispherians forgetting that little detail. Anyway, it’s Antarctica. It really doesn't matter what time of year it is, the water is always going to be pretty chilly, if not a solid, frozen mass (at least for now).

Meanwhile, we actually went to New Jersey, a.k.a. “the Antarctica of the Eastern Seaboard.” I’ve pitched this slogan to Chris Christie several times, explaining that people will long for a place like Antartica except easier to get to. It matters not a bit that there is no correlation between New Jersey and the southernmost continent on our planet. Governor Christie was not impressed. "Get outta my face," he said.

Where did you go on vacation?

Catfight
Skee-bum
 

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Thursday, 20 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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