PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Big League Chutzpah

 

You may believe that Major League Baseball is squeezing advertisements into every discernable pause in TV and radio broadcasts, but having examined this matter closely myself, I can state unequivocally that the umbrella organization of our national pastime has miles to go before our ballgame experience is fully saturated with commercials. With another season looming, it seems to me that there are many more opportunities to connect the game on the field with products in the marketplace that people don’t realize they need. Why isn’t every “can of corn” fly ball being used to sell Green Giant frozen corn kernels? When Joe Castiglione says “that was a bang-bang play,” why isn’t he adding, “And you can have your own bang-bang play by making your next firearm purchase a genuine Colt .380 Mustang®, made right here in New England”?

As my dad would have said, “I should be in charge!” If I were, I’d make sure that each and every “rubber game” of the year (the deciding game in a 3-game series, for the uninitiated), would be sponsored by Trojans or Lifestyles, and the MVP of those games would get the designation “Rubberman” and would walk away with a variety 12-pack of rubbers (sorry, “condoms” in todays terminology. In some respects, I still live in the early 1980s).

Lacking this kind of imagination, MLB is forced to fill its coffers by taking $20 from unsuspecting fans such as myself each year. Little did I realize that, having ordered Gameday Audio last year (a one-time charge, or so I thought), I would be charged anew this year unless I opted out. As it was put in one of those spam emails that we get 10 times a day at an email address we never check (because it’s reserved for spam only), “We are pleased to notify you of the annual automatic renewal of your subscription for 2015.”

In all likelihood, it’s my fault, as I probably checked a box that said, “By checking this box, you agree to the terms of usage,” then didn’t actually read the legalese. I’ve put a lawyer on retainer so this doesn’t happen again.

Gardener's Advice
Floss Your Way To Total Health
 

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Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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