PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Bitter Drink

Many of us are kept awake by weird fears and anxieties, but I doubt that anyone besides me has had his slumber interrupted by the following peculiar fantasy: while pedaling to a Red Sox game, I decide to stop for a refreshing beer somewhere close to the stadium rather than fight with the lines at Fenway, locking my bike to a post outside a Kenmore area (and yet somehow secluded) watering hole. Some uncounted number of beers later, I amble to the park, leaving behind my bike.  When I return, as the plot of this particular ugly fantasy goes, I find the bike still locked to the post, seemingly unscathed. What I don't realize is that some evil fan of the opposing squad, probably drunk and from New York, has arrived first and has spat into my water bottle, or worse, has taken it with him into the bushes, where he releases a pint of former beer into it, returning thereafter to nestle the bottle back in its cage.

I encountered this particularly disgusting fantasy (more of a nightmare, really) many years ago, when I arrived at my bike post-game one evening and was about to take a slug of water, then wondered, hey, what if someone is trying to poison me (or much, much worse)? Never mind that there is no good reason to poison me, or that not even Yankee fans think to carry around poison with them (though maybe they will now that I've alerted them to this possibility!). Thanks to my vivid imagination, I have since been unable to shake this major league horror story from my head.

Idea for Blockbuster Movie: "Coasting"
Big Shoes
 

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Monday, 23 July 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

Russia: "nothing to

do with meddling." Why isn't

Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel

Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL

I’ve done nothing wrong

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book

Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

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Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

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World wants Peace, not Death

 

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Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

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I took a pass. Thanks!

 

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Mother, Father, Baby Son

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Matt Lauer just fired

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Be fired for Fake News? 

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