PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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Bring Back Lady Sybil!

If Lady Sybil isn’t brought back this season of Downton Abbey as a ghost or, at minimum, a fond memory, I’m going to launch an international protest. You’ve got every conniving Shakespearean backstabber this side of Sochi embedded in the script, but what, you can’t find a way to insert a ghost? And not just any ghost: this would be a totally amazing ghost. Lady Sybil? Come on!

Picture it: Tom and Mary fall into bed together (you know it’s going to happen!), and they’re about to – well I won’t say what they’re about to do – when suddenly Sybil flings open the door. Tom screams out and covers his privates. “What’s wrong?” asks Mary. Tom ignores her and instead addresses Sybil: “She’s feeling unwell, my sweet, and I was just…um…er…taking her temperature. Yeah, that’s it! It’s the latest technique.”

Mary sees nothing of her dead younger sister, but who comes traipsing through the door? The ghost of her husband Matthew! Of course, he pays Mary no mind, preferring to mime a modern-day playboy, looking over the tops of his Ray-Bans at…who or what the heck is he checking out up and down? Mary wonders.

Unlike Tom and Mary, we, the viewer, are able to see both apparitions, who make eye contact with each other and exchange highly suggestive nods, as though to say, What’s say we get out of this stodgy old mansion? And then they’re gone! (Until next week).

Comin' Thro' The Wry
Going, Going...
 

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Monday, 18 December 2017

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