PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Camera Versus Mirrors: A Smackdown In Reverse

 

On the Big Island of Hawaii, where I occasionally winter, I rented a car that I discovered had a camera hidden somewhere in the its trunk lid or bumper. You may be surprised to learn that this camera was not a bug planted to spy on me. Even though I’m a social curiosity and thereby an interesting subject to spy on, the trunk camera was actually there so that each time I slammed the car into reverse in an attempt to introduce New England driving techniques to Hawaiians, an image what was behind me would appear on a screen located just below the radio, drawing my eyes away from the familiarity of my mirrors, where they had been trained to look for virtually all of my 35 years of driving in reverse gear.

I will admit that the camera worked in that it revealed the landscape behind me, which turned out to be the same same as what was ahead and on either side of me – a lot of lava rock.

I had this car for a little over a week, and in that time I didn’t progress at all in my ability to use the high-tech camera feature. Old dogs like me can’t learn new tricks easily, and in this case driving while looking down to where, half a century ago, my father would have been stubbing out his cigarettes made it feel like I was driving blindfolded. Each time the images popped up on the screen, I’d look for a second or two, fail to ascertain where I was on earth, then revert to using my mirrors. Ahh. That’s better!

I know that thousands of forward thinkers read my blog and reserve their mostly high praise for when they might encounter me by chance on the streets of Paris or Milan, but it wasn’t so long ago, maybe in the year 2010 or something, that I wrote a column in the Boston Globe Magazine in which I noted that my wife was curious about paying for a genetic profile, whereas I was not, wishing to be kept in the dark about the potential for my getting Alzheimer’s disease. The response to that column from acerbic commenters was swift and biting. “Science is wasted on you,” noted one.

These several years later, I’ve concluded that that particular commenter was mostly right. I regard many technological advances, including these car cameras, as of little or no use to me. Ditto Bluetooth smartphone adjuncts that can be permanently embedded into one's ear, such that you can never escape the texting and calling. 

On the other hand, if they ever develop cars that can drive me across town while I read a book, I might actually sign up for one. 

Floss Your Way To Total Health
Taxi Driver 2: The Unauthorized Sequel
 

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Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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