Care For Bowl of Schmacaroni And Cheese?
My international reputation for being terse at the water bubbler and taking all my meals in front of a computer would suggest I’m grooming myself for a sixteen-hour-a-day coding job in Silicon Valley. However, I've gotten wind of Silicon Valley's recent moves to phase out actual food. Apparently earning seven figures doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to consume solids. (Don’t believe me; it’s in this New York Times article so it must be true).
I have a friend who once had a video editing job that allowed so little time for things like water and food breaks that he mused that the future of the industry included editing suites in which food and liquids are delivered via tubes to the mouths of editors, who are simultaneously perched on toilets such that all bodily functions and essential sustenance can be maintained without any editing downtime. Powdered, drinkable meals for employees are just the beginning of this future without chewing.
Although I don’t happen to like the whole idea of having a job that allows such little time for food consumption, I wouldn’t mind selling products to people who have such jobs. And so, piggy-backing on the schmilk and schmoylent craze, I intend to unveil Pat’s Schmoked Brisket (in powdered form).
Needless to say, my SchBelgian ales are not far behind.