PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Trumpian Gun-Tweet Haikuage

2nd Amendment
Issue an apology
Demented shooter
 
Come on, gimme something.
 
Contemplating moving these haikus into their own little permanent spot on the website. Thinking, thinking...
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Trumpian Football Tweet Haiku

MAKE AMERICA
GREAT AGAIN! “Stand for Anthem.
Sit for game.” Wacky.

Or maybe you'd prefer a Puerto Rican-themed Trumpian Tweet Haiku:

Cannot keep FEMA
In P.R. Forever. That’s
What I’m dealing with
 
Can't wait to see what you can produce.
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More Trumpian Haikuage

 
Crooked Hilary
discredited “Dossier”
NEWS ORGS FABRICATE

Your turn.

 

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Root Cellar

I recently discovered that one can root around in shallows of Donald Trump’s tweets and come out with some pretty sweet haikus. Not sweet as in cute and cuddly, but sweet as in, “dude, that’s totally sweet.” For example:

Commander-in-Chief
I’m not all just fun and memes
Power of the pen

I’m sure you can do better than that. I’m sure I can do better than that.

Dying Magazines
Tell that to Israel, Chuck!
I asked Pence to leave

Whatta ya got?

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Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

The Special Counsel

Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL

I’ve done nothing wrong

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book

Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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