PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

For Sale

When I put my house on the market, I plan to concoct clever language to set it apart from all the other hip roof colonials offered for sale. Beds and baths? Quiet little street? That’s for sellers with no imagination or guts.

“Party Central!” will be my opening salvo. “Dude, check it. Twelve-hundred bottle wine cellar. Hot tub. Cold Tub. We got tubs up the yin-yang.”

Am I being totally honest? No. On the other hand, who really knows the definition of “up the yin-yang”?

“Roof Deck. Tiki bar. Master suite with co-bidets. Double ovens? Don’t kid yourself. We got quadruple ovens. Next door neighbor who'll take out your trash and do your taxes free of charge (‘I find it relaxing’ he says). Old farm across the street soon to be converted to conservation land (or, possiby, a skateboard park).”

I will demand see the underlying financials of the buyer, the buyer’s spouse, the buyer’s lover, and the parents of all these people, just because I want to pry. Finally, I will require that all offers include a 2,000 word essay explaining each buyer’s emotional connection to my abode.

All offers due in 15 minutes.

Hacktivistas
When I Die
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Sunday, 17 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!