My Musings

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For Sale

When I put my house on the market, I plan to concoct clever language to set it apart from all the other hip roof colonials offered for sale. Beds and baths? Quiet little street? That’s for sellers with no imagination or guts.

“Party Central!” will be my opening salvo. “Dude, check it. Twelve-hundred bottle wine cellar. Hot tub. Cold Tub. We got tubs up the yin-yang.”

Am I being totally honest? No. On the other hand, who really knows the definition of “up the yin-yang”?

“Roof Deck. Tiki bar. Master suite with co-bidets. Double ovens? Don’t kid yourself. We got quadruple ovens. Next door neighbor who'll take out your trash and do your taxes free of charge (‘I find it relaxing’ he says). Old farm across the street soon to be converted to conservation land (or, possiby, a skateboard park).”

I will demand see the underlying financials of the buyer, the buyer’s spouse, the buyer’s lover, and the parents of all these people, just because I want to pry. Finally, I will require that all offers include a 2,000 word essay explaining each buyer’s emotional connection to my abode.

All offers due in 15 minutes.

When I Die


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Friday, 23 March 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum


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Don't trade; we win big!


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Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

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Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.


Tax cut/Reform bill

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Incredible Year


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Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death


False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.



Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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