Frothy Weaponry

The next beer I brew will be designed explicitly to explode all over the person opening it. It is, therefore, not a beer to offer friends. Friends get beer that can be poured into a glass with minimal spillage and is easy-drinking. Longtime enemies, who you’re feigning to make peace with, are given this new beer as an olive branch. Here’s how it works:

You leave your nemesis a 22 oz. bottle of this ale on his doorstep with a bow and a note saying “Happy Holidays.” He is shocked at first, wondering, “What’s this guy doing giving me a beer? I thought he hated me.” He comes to the highly suspect conclusion that you’re trying to establish détente, playing right into your bubbly plot, and further believes that you’ve given him some sort of high-quality brew. Ha!

Soon, there is a holiday gathering – dinner at the in-laws-to-be, say – and this adversary decides it’s the perfect gift to bring along: a unique bottle of ale brewed by that blogger-dude who’s read and largely ignored by several thousand computers in China. He presents the bottle to his girlfriend’s father to butter up the old bibber before asking for the hand of the lass in marriage.

The moment the old man uncaps the brew, there is a catastrophic explosion of yeasty foam, such that three-quarters of the beer to gets sprayed into the old bastard’s face and directly into his eyes, blinding him for the better part of a week.

Beer Name: Bitter Pat’s Ale Bomb

Up Your Sleeve!
I Am The Eggman


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Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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