PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Heart And Soul

Everyone knows that David “Big Papi” Ortiz is the heart of the Boston Red Sox, and recent studies have proved what many people suspected for years: Dustin Pedroia is the soul of this team. Unbelievably, a lot of people still think that Ryan Lavarnway is the brains of the team because he went to Yale. Sorry, honor that belongs to Craig Breslow, another Eli, since Lavarnway isn’t even on the post-season roster (get with the program, people).

But here’s what I find really troubling: no one in the media is willing to discuss who the balls of this year’s team is. And that’s just sad. Just ask someone – anyone! (Right now. Go!) – “Who is the balls of the Red Sox?” and I’ll bet people will shoot you a glare or threaten to have you fired. I’ll save you the trouble: It’s not Jonny Gomes. The actual balls of the team is Shane Victorino, who keeps leaning into pitches so he can get hit. That’s “ballsy!” as my friends used to say in high school.

The team kidney used to be Manny Ramirez, obviously, what with his frequent visits into to the scoreboard area to relieve himself during games, but no one has shown me that they are the current team kidney. It’s OK to not have a kidney in the first round of the playoffs, but someone better step up soon or the team will be kidneyless for the ALCS, which could be problematic. Yes, other squads have won without a team kidney, but it doesn’t happen often.

Currently waiting for data compiled by local eateries on who the team stomach is.    

Bonehead
You And Me Against The World
 

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Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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