PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Heart And Soul

Everyone knows that David “Big Papi” Ortiz is the heart of the Boston Red Sox, and recent studies have proved what many people suspected for years: Dustin Pedroia is the soul of this team. Unbelievably, a lot of people still think that Ryan Lavarnway is the brains of the team because he went to Yale. Sorry, honor that belongs to Craig Breslow, another Eli, since Lavarnway isn’t even on the post-season roster (get with the program, people).

But here’s what I find really troubling: no one in the media is willing to discuss who the balls of this year’s team is. And that’s just sad. Just ask someone – anyone! (Right now. Go!) – “Who is the balls of the Red Sox?” and I’ll bet people will shoot you a glare or threaten to have you fired. I’ll save you the trouble: It’s not Jonny Gomes. The actual balls of the team is Shane Victorino, who keeps leaning into pitches so he can get hit. That’s “ballsy!” as my friends used to say in high school.

The team kidney used to be Manny Ramirez, obviously, what with his frequent visits into to the scoreboard area to relieve himself during games, but no one has shown me that they are the current team kidney. It’s OK to not have a kidney in the first round of the playoffs, but someone better step up soon or the team will be kidneyless for the ALCS, which could be problematic. Yes, other squads have won without a team kidney, but it doesn’t happen often.

Currently waiting for data compiled by local eateries on who the team stomach is.    

Bonehead
You And Me Against The World
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Monday, 18 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!