PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

I'm Not Buying It

Among the many ways my kids’ childhood experience is unlike mine is that they don’t get to watch hours of cartoons on commercial TV each Saturday morning. I myself looked forward to the onslaught of animated programs every week, starting around the minute the cartoons ended and the TV went dark, and continuing through the week, until, finally, Bugs Bunny would reappear on my television screen, feeding my addiction anew. Lest you think my kids don't get screen time, I assure you they get far too much, but it’s generally “on-demand” while dinner is being made, which severely diminishes their exposure to the marketing of toy machine guns and sugar-coated chocolate breakfast cereals.

But just because they aren’t allowed to switch on the TV on Saturday mornings doesn’t mean they don’t get ads. Red Sox games are permeated with mind-numbing efforts to sell us stuff, to which my daughter is all-too receptive. A couple months back, she heard that Ford was having a “Summer Spectacular,” which, in her mind, was clearly related to the “Christmas Spectacular” at Radio City Music Hall with the Rockettes, and we really must go! Similarly, a couple of days ago she informed me that “there is no better time to buy a Kia, Dad.” She clarified: “What that means is ‘these days’” (i.e. not that very instant). “Why do we need a new car?” my wife asked. “Because ours are dirty.” (If that’s the main criterion, then we also need a new house).

So far, she hasn’t advised me to switch to Geico or call my doctor if I have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, but that can’t be far off.

Dumpling Chit-Chat
Surprise!
 

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Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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