PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Truth

Now that you stopped funneling your family secrets my way, cutting off the lifeline of ideas I had for daytime soap plotlines, you can kiss goodbye your chance at being invited to the first public tasting of Pat’s Truth Serum Ale. That’ll be a big bummer for you. While all your friends are reveling in the first sips of this specialty beer, which will have been dry-hopped with my very own secret mix of horse manure-fed Willamette cones, tangerine peel, coriander, and sodium pentothal, you’ll be home drinking Bud Light and watching the Daytona 500 from little monitors set up in your chicken coop.

Of course, I fully realize that one of the two of us might be dead by the time my Truth Serum Ale is ready for consumption (in 3 to 5 years, depending on government regulators), which would make this complaint of mine somewhat moot. Another possibility is that you develop your own competing truth serum product (aged in French oak -- clever!), which you use to spike my breathing space such that I find myself telling everyone off. “Your front teeth are too large.” “I never understood your weird art.” “You were crazy to buy that stallion for alternative transportation.”

Sorry to bring on the negative karma, but I tried a little truth serum in my Count Chocula this morning and this is the result.

Accepting The Award...
Deaf Ears
 

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Monday, 23 July 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

Russia: "nothing to

do with meddling." Why isn't

Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel

Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL

I’ve done nothing wrong

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book

Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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