PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Let Me Be Perfectly Clear

I hear you calling, American voter, and I’m sorry to say that I have let this one go through to voice-mail. Just because we citizens of a nation that produces excellent fighter jet flyovers – the greatest flyovers before sporting events in the world! – can’t seem to decide on which candidates to nominate for the position that will ultimately authorize more flyovers doesn’t mean I have to step in and fix the mess.

Do you have any idea how many little league games I have to attend each spring? And how long each game lasts? These aren’t youth soccer matches that are contained within an hour. Little League games can go on for days, and keep in mind that there’s no beer served at Little League games. Plus I have a Red Sox 10th man plan this year. How can I have a meaningful run for the most awesome job in the world if I’m spending 10 games a year in the bleachers, where they do serve beer? (Also, note that I have a backlog of about 25 issues of the New Yorker to get through).

So for the good of my kids, Major League Baseball, and The New Yorker magazine, the answer is no, I’m not going to accept the nomination for either of the two main political parties – the greatest political parties in the world!

However, I hear Paul Ryan may be free.

1999
Late Apologies
 

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Sunday, 23 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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