PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Captain Cornhole

I know that when you think of Cornhole you think of me, and trust me, I’m enormously proud of that. But please don’t forget that there are many other people playing Cornhole out there, some of whom are stars in their own right. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but the fact is I’m not actually ranked number one in the world in Cornhole.

Not even number two.

Would it surprise you to learn that I’m number 17? I’m sure it would surprise the actual number 17-ranked Cornhole star (currently not me).

Can I be honest? Truth is, this year I wasn’t invited to the Johnsonville Cornhole Championships. I’m not even a member of the American Cornhole League. And here you assumed I was named All-Cornhole in 2016 and 2017.

Turns out I’m just a regular joe with no endorsements who nevertheless can win his street’s Cornhole championship with almost no training.

Do you have a similarly heartwarming story?

The Multitasking Motorista
Van Pat's Cockle
 

Comments 1

Guest - Pamela S on Saturday, 05 May 2018 15:56

After dutifully following the links you provided, I'm speechless with wonder. Thanks, Patrick, for once again opening my eyes!

After dutifully following the links you provided, I'm speechless with wonder. Thanks, Patrick, for once again opening my eyes!
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Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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