PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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Macaquetavists Unite!

 

Recent efforts to protest Shell Oil’s arctic drilling by paddle-wielding “kayaktavists” in Seattle tells me that not enough people are making use of activist-esque monikers. For example, with the way my dental hygienist touts the advantages of brushing and flossing, she could easily be called a Plaquetivist. Not to mentoin those Snacktivist parents out there who can’t let half an hour of play time to happen without a 15 minute snack break. But there's so much more:

 

  • Smacktivists: public health officials who decry the lack of heroin addiction treatment.
  • Flapjacktivists: kids who pound the table on Saturday mornings until they are fed pancakes.
  • Knick-Knacktivists: people who overpay for bric-a-brac.
  • Bric-a-bractivists: people who sell their knickknacks in yard sales to support hoarder research.
  • Clam Shacktivists: people who think you can’t get a proper clam if it isn’t sold in a broken down hut.
  • Yaktivists: People who claim that we can fuel our future on the liquefied dung of wild Tibetan yaks.
  • Unpacktivitists: You’ve gone on long trips with them, and when you return home they are too exhausted to unpack.
  • Heart Attacktivists: Start you on a statin drug as a teen so that you die of liver cancer at 65 instead of a myocardial infarction.
  • Air Sactivists: They are constantly in your face about all the cigarette smoking you did 25 years ago.
  • Roof Racktivists: Whether they are on two-week vacation or off to the hardware store, they don’t leave their roof rack at home.
  • Ice Packtivists: Decry the general lack of ice packs on hand at toddler soccer games.
  • Weed Whacktivists: Observe loudly that womens never weed whack, only mens. (Tend to be under 3 years of age).
  • Union Jacktivists: Fly the Union Jack outside their redneck homes because they think it’s actually a confederate flag.
  • Jumping Jacktivists: You can see them on TV whining that we Americas spend too much time on our asses watching TV.
  • Panic Attacktivists: First rate hyperventilators who use the technique to get us to stay in relationships with them.
  • Freddie Mactivists: People who wonder, “Why is the US Government involved in mortgages?” and so forth…

 

Can't tell you my own activist moniker until I register it with the US Patent Office. 


 

 

Seven Is The New Four. And The New Sixteen.
Recluse
 

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Monday, 18 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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