PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Mash Up

 

At my local grocery retailer, the popular “five buck cluck” deal on Thursdays gets you a brined and rotisserie-cooked chicken for all of five dollars. Maybe they're joking.  How is it even possible to raise a chick from a hatchling into a young hen, butcher it, salt it up and roast it for only five dollars? With all the hands involved and fringe benefits and all that, I figure it’s got to cost somewhere between $25 and $500.

Meanwhile, the supermarket employs a line of distinguished and highly-trained elves to make the mashed potatoes.  These elves are armed with golden tools that are very expensive to maintain; also, they have extremely generous benefits packages. How else to explain the salty butter-bomb of pulpy spuds we buy to accompany the bird, which costs roughly ten dollars? Putting 5 and 10 together, I come to see the scheme.

Recently, the store snuck in the infrequently used “volume pricing” ruse, in which you get the item for the advertised price only if you purchase great quantities of it, like 1,000 rolls of toilet paper, as if this store is the mother of all wholesale clubs. But since it’s your local grocery retailer where you’re used to paying per pound or per each, suddenly learning (after having paid) that you needed to buy about five times more chicken than you’d be required to at Costco to get the advertised price is jarring, especially when not a single other item in the store is priced in this manner.

“It’s all clearly labeled,” I was told. Alas, the joke is on me.

Happy Smile Guy
Walk-Off!
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Sunday, 17 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!