PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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Mussel Pat's House of Cockles

The amiable cockle, in my opinion, has been ignored by the mainstream public for far too long. To prove my point, just ask yourself these questions:

  1. When was the last time I served my family a platter of cockles?
  2. When have I shopped for and compared cockle prices at my local supermarket?
  3. Do I even know when cockle season is?

Time to face facts: we Americans are getting precious few cockles in our diets. I intend to change that, and here’s how:

To start, I’m going to establish a foothold in the mussels market by plowing all my free time into managing my very own mussel shack in the gritty section of Manchester-by-the-Sea. I have excellent shack-making materials in my garage, like mismatched bits of old lumber, salvaged over the very same decades that cockles were being ignored by people like you and me. Among the wood I’ve retained are rough-hewn boards, which I’ll use to create authentic-looking shack walls that will provide splinters to my guests for many years to come. “Mussels for everyone” will be my slogan. I’ll fashion a “Mussel Pat’s” sign above the order window in crooked letters, suggesting that I’m an easy-going proprietor. Hey, I’m just a guy selling mussels. In a shack.

The hope is that the Mussel Pat’s` becomes a huge hit before I die, and I can start to branch out and “lead,” if you will, the mussel-eating public over to cockles. I know, I know, “We’ll see.” (You sound like various pessimistic relatives of mine). But you have to admit: the world is nudged forward thanks to kernels of ideas fleshed out by “Think-People” like myself, including my idea for a House of Cockles.

 

Interplanetary Good Time
Cement Shoes
 

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