Sometimes, I like to go old-school, whether it be by dressing in a leisure suit, or listening to classic rock, or refusing to recycle anything. Sometimes, I’ll go old-school by putting grass clippings out with the rubbish instead of leaving it for compost pickup. Because going old school means keeping it real. And life was more real back in the 1950s anyway, unless you were a woman, or gay, or black. And although I sometimes don’t like to admit it, when people don’t keep it real, I feel robbed. And I believe that not keeping it real has gravely affected the national psyche, which has been on a long and steady decline since about 1776.
Those of you who have been paying attention, I mean really paying attention, are aware of how my research has spurred a new school of old-school thinking, which puts much more emphasis on the old and less on the school. My kids keep telling me that school is overrated anyway, so why not make the new school of thinking about going old-school less school-related.
You know what I’m saying.