PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Now Performing

 

From here on out, my life is going to be one long performance art piece. Every word I speak, every movement, every bite of sausage at Fenway and path I choose to pedal my bike down, hour after hour, mile after mile, will be specifically calculated to make this the greatest work of art ever concocted, and humanity can pay me back for it by making contributions to my family after I die and the performance piece ceases to exist.

Except it hasn’t ceased to exist. Because down there, in my casket, or as ash and chunky bits of charred remains in an urn, I am still evolving as a dead person, and therefore my art piece lives on.

Don’t worry, humanity, you won’t have to pay for quite a long time, as, first of all, I plan to survive many decades into the crowded future, long enough in fact to frolic in newly-opened resorts in the far upper reaches of the Hudson Bay, once we get rid of all that cold air. This means you’re going to be able to foist the cost of this massive work of art onto some other generation of humans, who will curse you and spit on your graves.

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I begin by claiming to be a celebrated fashion designer, credited with developing the “saggy hood” streetwear design. This gets me and members of my streetwear family invited to parties all night (sporting saggy hoods, of course).

Can I have a volunteer to tally up the monetary value of my art so humanity can be billed at a later date?   

Daddy's Little Helpers
The Thinker
 

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Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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