PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Pat's House of Offal

After having several of my most magnificent fast food concepts entirely ignored by supposed “industry players,” I’ve come to the conclusion that advancements in the industry are being stymied by the old fast food guard, whose efforts are soley geared toward protecting their meat, fish, and poultry fiefdoms. These “experts,” as they like to call themselves, laugh off my carefully devised plans, then, to spite me, inhale a couple of Big Macs before waddling off to Packers games.

Example: I couldn’t raise more than a few dollars (in small change) for “Pat’s Horseradish Cottage” (every cent of which came from my own children)! I’m thinking to myself: really? It’s Horseradish people! Name one food it won’t improve (besides, say, ice cream, which my kids have already pointed out would be gross).

Burned, again, by my own capacity to dream big, I should be humbled, but instead I find myself more determined than ever to open Pat’s Cockscomb Bungalow. Because if I don’t open it, I’ll be missing out on an awesome opportunity!

Cockscombs are going to be the essential ingredient in tomorrow’s “Po’ Boy’s,” if I’m reading the tea leaves right. If you’ve never had a cockscomb Po’ Boy, with onions and a hefty squirt of Sriracha, then you don't know what you're missing. And yes, I am a believer in the viability of roadside cockscomb joints (despite the snickering of my own family whenever I mention it), where you pop by for one of these futuristic Po’ Boy’s while heading home after work, (via an efficient drive-through checkout process or, perhaps, carhop!).

Note: I’m thinking it may be wise to downgrade from “Bungalow” to “Hut,” as “Pat’s Cockscomb Hut” is a more realistic vision, given my children’s current modest life savings.

Will begin to build my empire upon a nice pair of cockscomb shears, which I'll ask the kids to get me for Christmas.

Good Guy
Fish Story
 

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Sunday, 23 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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