My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Patty The Claw

The trial of reputed mob boss James "Whitey" Bulger gives me the idea of changing my persona by giving myself a genuine sounding mob name. I’ve no stomach to become an actual mobster who extorts money and kills people; I just want a nickname that sounds mobsteresque.

Within seconds, I discover several websites that will generate mobster names for me. Some offerings:

  • Little P
  • Chicago Patty
  • Patty Cola
  • Slim Patty Rat
  • Patty Nap
  • Patty the Knife
  • Big PM
  • Patty the Breeze
  • Patty the fixer
  • Bald Patty
  • Chicken Fried Alfredo (Huh?)
  • Antonio Siciliano (!!)

Clearly, these websites don’t know me. True, I had the moniker “rat” for a bit my freshman year of college, and have been known to fix this or that troublesome leaky pipe in my house, but I’m neither bald nor breezy, and I drink cola only when I find myself at kid birthday parties with no beer. What about my preference for lobster claws over tails?  In any event, I’m pretty sure I can identify names that better fit my persona. Consider:

  • Patty The Gut
  • Guiness Pat
  • Patty Artichokes
  • Patty Two-Wheels
  • Patty Chew
  • Patty Guzzle
  • Chubby Hummus McVay
  • Mister Nopublish
  • Patty the Sneeze
  • Big Daddy Four-Putts
  • Patty the Limp
  • Rioja Pat
  • Patty The Tankard

I’ll consider these and other possibilities today over an artichoke pizza and a couple glasses of Rioja, after shuffling through a round of bad golf and a tankard of Guinness at the 19th hole.




The Enchanting Wizard of Rhythm
Late Game


No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Friday, 23 March 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum


Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.


Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year


United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death


False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.



Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!