The Three Faces of Pat
I’ve decided to rethink the image I’m portraying to the general public and tweak it a little. Oh, sure, the Patrick McVay you spend hours pondering late at night, in bed, with the lights turned way down, is fine and all, but I’m worried that people have gotten bored with me and I think it’s important to give my personality a facelift. Several options I’m considering:
Old Yeller: The scheme will be to enter a room and immediately overwhelm it with volume, causing people to laugh (nervously) or driving them right the hell out of the place. The biggest problem with this plan is that everyone will assume I’ve been drinking, even though I haven’t.
Strong, Silent Guy: In this case, even when I speak it will really just amount to breathlessly moving my jaw, the only noise being the quiet squishing of saliva sticking to all the mouthparts as I form the word “hello.” The main advantage is that people will assume that I’m assessing what others in the room are saying and quietly analyzing, as many smart people do. Also, I’m less likely to say something stupid, and when I do, no one will actually hear me.
Indoor Dark Sunglasses Wearer: based on the number of hits this website doesn’t get, it seems that I’m flying under the radar. However, I have dark, prescription sunglasses that I believe could make me seem famous if I wear them indoors all the time. Sometimes, you just have to create your own fame. Maybe I’ll get season tickets to the Celtics or Bruins and become one of those people who sits up close and is easily recognizable on TV for how ridiculous he looks.
I’m going to try these ideas out on my family this weekend and will decide which way to go based on the reactions I get.