I recently was given access to proprietary algorithmic data suggesting that I don’t win quite as many of life’s puck battles as the mainstream media would have you believe.
You’re surprised. I know, a lot of people are. You can’t help but notice that I have just the right physique to win puck battles all over this great hemisphere of ours – the greatest hemisphere in the world! Let’s all stand up and sing God Bless Our Hemisphere.
OK back to my failure to win pucks. What’s it all mean? Well, it either means that I’ve gone soft, or the data is wrong. And if you ask me, the data is wrong. Maybe it wasn’t proprietary algorithmic data at all but just fake news. Maybe I do win my fair share of puck battles.
Makes you think.