PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Goal: More Precise Programming

 

As part of my plan to deliver ultra-pure television programming to American audiences, completely cleansed of unnecessary and extraneous information, I’ve taken steps to establish a production company that will create the very first of several television “micro-series.” Each micro-series I develop will appear on your television set in five-minute bursts, so don't arrive late.

Here’s the structure: first there’s a 30-second intro that inextricably draws you in (via brief flashes of nudity, say) and introduces the series’ main conflict or situation; then we’ll “pay the bills” by bombarding you with micro-ads that last 3 seconds each (10 micro-ads per 30-second bombardment, each of which is a micro-subliminal-ad utilizing the most forward-thinking, data-driven marketing schemes, or simply nudity); then we’ll have a 3 minute episode in which plots and subplots, character development, exposition, etc., will be delivered with remarkable efficiency; then come 10 more sexually-suggestive micro-ads; and finally the micro-episode cliff-hanging finish. Each series is 5 episodes long, such that the whole microseries is delivered over the course of a week.

Do you love it? Stop with the “five minute bursts just screw up the timing of television.” Don’t you think this has occurred to me? This is why I’m developing the first 5 micro-series at once! I can fill a half-hour space that way (with the remaining five minutes taken up with 100 additional 3-second micro-adlets, subliminally selling you insurance and the latest mobile device that enables you to watch television on your false pinky nail).

Kick-starter campaign to begin in five, four, three…

More Crust, Please
Bulky
 

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Sunday, 23 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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