Sunday Roast


One thing that I have never been the focus of in the nearly 51 years of my (current) life is, believe it or not, a celebrity roast. And this, to me, is troubling.

How does one live a life as rich and varied as mine without Hollywood taking notice and putting together a list of drunken, has-been, D-list celebrities to stand up in front of an audience and say hurtful things about me? Am I destined to live another 50 years without being roasted, or 50 years after that (give or take), neglected by my peers and famous people alike?

I know what you’re thinking: this guy was probably roasted left and right in the many lives he lived before this particular one, so stop whining! The Foster Brooks of the Middle Ages in all likelihood stood up in front of crowds and made thinly-veiled references to extramarital affairs I may or may not have had back in those days.

Nice try. I conducted my own investigation by checking with a psychic, who finds no evidence whatsoever that I was ever roasted at any time in human history. She conducted more than 40 interviews with people who have gone before us to ascertain just how it was that I came to be unroasted, and whether there was any tampering with celebrities during the lead up to roasts of other people.

Her investigation is ongoing. I’m just hoping it’s all resolved before Media Day on Wednesday.

Super Bowl Monday
Conventional Wisdom


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Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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