PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Naked Lunch

 

Whenever I travel to Quebec (about once a year), my route takes me past roadside signs bearing illustrations of dad, mom, and child  butt cheeks, somewhere west of route 20 and north of route 55, between Drummondville and Sherbrooke. The signs direct the curious traveler to “Centre Naturiste Domaine Soleil de l’Amitie,” words that suggest, to deficient translaters of French such as myself, a kind of nature reserve, steeped in sunshine and friendship. The nekked derrieres on the road signs help demystify the place. (The website’s English version calls it “D.S.A. Nudist Colony,” which is rather less ambiguous than the French version.)

This is a chilly part of the world, and one naturally assumes the naked bottoms are to be found indoors, for many summer days in Quebec are not warm enough for us furless humans to go strutting around au naturel. Perhaps there are cabins, or just a big (warm) indoor hangar. Of course, it’s always best to investigate one’s uneducated assumptions by going online. There is so much to learn! The D.S.A website reveals that this is a family campground, with a 4-star certification from Tourisme Quebec (the highest rating!). Visitors are meant to bring shelter with them, typically in the form of a camper. One can’t help but surmise that more than one tired family, seeking a place to crash for the night and using a smart phone to consult Tourisme Quebec's list of campgrounds, has awakened in the morning to discover that clothes aren’t just optional at this camp, but are actually prohibited. A sampling of the rules page notes:

“Nudism is mandatory whenever weather permits. Shorts are tolerated for women when necessary. (bathing suits and bikinis are prohibited).”  

One among many obvious reasons that I don’t walk around naked is that I look much better clothed (trust me on this point). Let’s face it: most of us do. Ultimately, this investigation reminds me of the old SNL skit at the nudist beach, in which either Jon Lovitz or Matthew Broderick, depending on which version you see, learns that people do actually pay attention to penis size at nudist colonies.

The high today (Monday 6/16/14) in the Drummondville area is meant to be 74. Still not 100% convinced that this is the right climate for nakedness.

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Thursday, 20 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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