PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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The Bathoom Inside Me

 

The biggest complaint real estate agents have with my house is that “it lacks a master bath,” i.e. a comfortable, modern place to bathe and whatnot within the confines of the “master bedroom” (another thing it lacks). It has become my mission to change this situation such that we can tell that world, should we ever sell this building, that it contains a “master suite,” suggesting more than just a sleeping area and loo, but several rooms, walk-in closets, and perhaps even an antechamber wherein invited guests can be received. (Guests? In a master suite? Yes, that’s how impressive ours will be!)

My master bath idea involves building an external, all-glass pod that bulges out from our bedroom like a futuristic knobby protuberance. The walls will be made of one-way glass, such that you can see out, but people outside, looking up at the tumor-like glass pod sprouting from the house, can only see mirrors (unless the light is just right, in which case they can see the home’s inhabitants emerging from the shower naked, etc., causing nausea in passersby).

Of course, the piping in this arrangement is complicated. Pipes have to get into and out of the masterbathpod according to code, which means we pretty much have to build a significant false floor under it to hide the water-in/water-out. Or else build a traditional addition from the ground up (boring!), meaning we end up with something less tumor-like and more cylindrical.

Time to look for architects who excel in cylinders and lavatory pods.

Cowboy Pat
Ye Little Towne Upstate
 

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Monday, 18 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

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Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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