PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Bathoom Inside Me

 

The biggest complaint real estate agents have with my house is that “it lacks a master bath,” i.e. a comfortable, modern place to bathe and whatnot within the confines of the “master bedroom” (another thing it lacks). It has become my mission to change this situation such that we can tell that world, should we ever sell this building, that it contains a “master suite,” suggesting more than just a sleeping area and loo, but several rooms, walk-in closets, and perhaps even an antechamber wherein invited guests can be received. (Guests? In a master suite? Yes, that’s how impressive ours will be!)

My master bath idea involves building an external, all-glass pod that bulges out from our bedroom like a futuristic knobby protuberance. The walls will be made of one-way glass, such that you can see out, but people outside, looking up at the tumor-like glass pod sprouting from the house, can only see mirrors (unless the light is just right, in which case they can see the home’s inhabitants emerging from the shower naked, etc., causing nausea in passersby).

Of course, the piping in this arrangement is complicated. Pipes have to get into and out of the masterbathpod according to code, which means we pretty much have to build a significant false floor under it to hide the water-in/water-out. Or else build a traditional addition from the ground up (boring!), meaning we end up with something less tumor-like and more cylindrical.

Time to look for architects who excel in cylinders and lavatory pods.

Cowboy Pat
Ye Little Towne Upstate
 

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Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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