PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Dumpling Duchess

 

Word that the owners of "Dumpling Daughter" in Weston (who knew that Weston even had restaurants?) are suing Dumpling Girl of Millbury for stealing their recipes (and concept, and just about everything) got me wondering: when I inevitably open my own dumpling joint, will I call it “Dumpling Princess” or “Dumpling Queen”?

I suppose it will depend on the age of my dumpling-loving daughter. If she’s still in her tender, preteen years when we pan-fry our first batch of my Swedish Meatball dumplings, I’ll call it “Dumpling Princess”; if I don't get around to the ribbon-cutting until she has graduated college, I’ll opt for “Dumpling Queen.”

But what if she’s, like, 16? I have a friend, now long departed for Texas, who began referring to his daughters as “aliens” once they reached their teen years, so calling my restaurant “The Dumpling Alien” might be apt. I’ll put a sign out front depicting an alien (you know the type: huge black teardrop eyes, giant head, all yellow) chowing on fried pork and leek nuggets with a pair of chopsticks. Another option: the “Dumpling Narcissist.” The sign in this case would depict a tattooed and pierced goth-gal scowling into a serene pond, jamming fat potstickers into her mouth and giving us adults the finger.

“How unfair! Those are huge generalizations about teenage girls!” Yeah yeah, I know, and I’m sorry. Not all teenage girls are narcissistic aliens with bad attitudes who wear black-and-white makeup, just like not all teenage boys are detached hoodie-wearers with bags of weed hidden in their sweatsocks. Still, wouldn't a fellow who wants to name his restaurant after a teenage boy be tempted to call it  “The Dumpling Stoner”? Or maybe “The Dumpling Rebel”?

Best to have a big pile of pork-in-dough flavor bombs and ponder the possibilities.

High Hippies
Bells And Whistles
 

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Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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