PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

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The Gospel According To Some Unidentified Guy

 

I’m hoping next fall to lead a group of amateur archaeological sleuths into the lands of our biblical forebears to seek out yet more gospels of the life of Jesus. Carrying pickaxes, spades, and a measure of divine inspiration, our aim is to disprove the widely-held notion that the Son of God was a carpenter. (Yeah, sure he was!)

It seems to me to be far more likely that Jesus was actually a short order cook. I have evidence of this via a vision that came to me at two in the morning, when I was in bed with my eyes closed and was snoring (OK, fine, call it a dream if you want). In this vision, Jesus gathers with his disciples at the Second-to-Last Supper and says, “Yo. I sayeth to you now: do not deny me, on the Sabbath, Adam and Eve on a Raft. And always put them in sandals, for I enjoy a picnic. What? Why are you whispering, Judas? You got something to say, say it to my face.” It was a very vivid dream. I mean vision.

(Another little-known fact that came out of that vision: Peter was the disciple who coined the diner phrase “looseners” when refering to prunes.)

Boxers or Brieves?
Not Tonight Honey, I Have A Hairache
 

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Monday, 18 December 2017

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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