PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Meathead Inside Me

There may be thousands of qualified pit masters out there capable of smoking their way through an animal’s ribcage or some other gnarly cut of meat, but I’ve narrowed down my advice-taking to just two sources: Meathead Goldwyn of the site amazingribs.com and the BBQ Pit Boys.

The biggest difference between these two ambassadors of outdoor cookery is that Amazingribs.com has more science and requires you to read, while the BBQ Pit Boys have a widely-followed YouTube channel and look like members of the band ZZ Top when they throw a few frogs on the grill. Also, I’m not sure that Meathead has ever cooked either a reptile or an amphibian. Having eaten alligator once (on Sanibel, an island within the boundaries of Florida that is nevertheless entirely bereft of strip malls), I can’t see myself ever seeking out one of these critters for my grill.

Of course, once you begin surfing the ‘net, you’re basically allowing your every move to be tracked by search engines and their evil advertising funders (“it’s part of the unwritten contract”). And so the internet, having observed me seeking countless recipes, has begun to direct me to online methods for cutting up live lobsters, rendering squid into sashimi in a less than five minutes, and so forth.

Soon to come: my suggestions for pairing frogs’ legs with Belgian Ales.

Odd Stuff
Ghost Story
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Thursday, 20 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!