PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

The Old and the Less Dressed

If beaches are where the toned and the waxed compete for the best abs, pecs, and glutes, then water parks are the converse: flab jamborees of the lowest order, where no one feels particularly out of place exposing their family endowment of back hair and bottom-lard. I’m no Adonis and have been scolded repeatedly by my five year old daughter for being way too “furry” and failing to shave (my face, I believe she is referring to, though I’ve never pressed her on that point), but of course I don’t ask to be taken to water parks and feel somewhat squeamish following other people’s derrieres down the wet chutes. My kids are willing to don mental blinders if it means they can slip and slide for hours on end, and consequently had probably their happiest day of the summer yesterday at “Breezy Picnic Grounds and Water Park” in the town of Douglas, MA. A small-time water park, the Breezy slides get you up and down in a few minutes, giving the kids ample opportunity to enjoy the watery sluices.  

My daughter runs several dozen degrees colder than most kids and needed a few respites to warm up under a towel; during one of these brief intervals, my wife cast her gaze out over the scene of barely clothed families and observed, “It’s amazing that anyone ever gets pregnant.” True enough: despite all the exposure, there was little titillation to be had.

Now that fall is just a few weeks away, bathing suits and exposed skin will give way to long pants, sweaters, and increased darkness. Summer’s end may be bittersweet, but autumn will be a sight for sore eyes. 

 

Surprise!
Is That a Computer in Your Pocket or...?
 

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Saturday, 26 May 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

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Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

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And my button works.

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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