Sad, Neglected Oyster
Not that I’m worried about your taking legal action, but please be informed that I have a license to take oysters from Long Island Sound. So don't hassle me if you see me handling oysters. I've got the go ahead from local authorities for that sort of thing.
Oh don't act so shocked. Sure, I'm known as a strictly clams-and-mussels guy, but I can still write about other shellfish, like oysters. There, I just did.
Even though I know almost nothing about them.