PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Whom Do You Love?

 

Like the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, I’ve had a little bit of free time recently, so I thought I’d hang around the house and listen to old Led Zeppelin records while drinking scotch. After some deep thinking, it occurs to me that I might pay back my debt to society (don’t ask) by rewriting some of the badly mangled grammar in the western world’s popular songbook. I’m talking about some real hatchet jobs that many of our finest musicians have performed on the English language. For example, this inexplicably uncorrected nugget from Bob Dylan’s recording “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright”:           

Well, it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road

You'd think the song's publishers might have paid a few extra bucks to hire a copy editor, or at the very least a proofreader, who might have suggested the following improved version:

Well there’s no reason to be turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knew
An' there’s no reason to be turnin’ on your light, babe
'Cause you haven't got a clue.

Amy Winehouse was another musician who an awful time with grammar. Did you ever hear the lyrics to “Rehab”?: My God!

I can't got the time
And if my Daddy thinks I'm fine

"I can’t got the time" is such a badly constructed phrase that one doesn't even know where to begin correcting it.  My team of lyrics improvers  has suggested we throw out the lyrics in their entirety so we can start all over again.  (And, by the way, this isn't Amy’s second language!)

I plan on turning my rewriting of popular lyrics into a book, and when I do please don’t ask me for my autograph. Because I really can't got the time time. Thanks.

Heathers
Coming Soon: New Guide To Plumbing
 

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Thursday, 20 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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