PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Your Change, Sir

 

Looking for some water for my parched throat while at the North Conway Grand Hotel – a resort-y inn with a bar (still going strong at 11:28 p.m.), two pools, a game room, ping pong tables, and a possessed soda machine that contained 25 or so half liter bottles of chilled H-2-0, of which I wanted just one.

I wasn’t 100% sure if $2 gets you a liter of water in July, 2015 in New Hampshire, so I put in a dollar and punched in D5 (because that particular water looked the most refreshing of them all). No reaction from this machine, not even an additional amount I needed to part with for my precious bottle of water to be set free. So I put in another dollar, which was promptly spat out. Then my first dollar was returned as well – in the form of 10 dimes. Hmmm.

I put some of the recently delivered dimes back in the coin slot, but they didn’t make the satisfying engagement noise indicating that the machine was even aware of their existence. I hit the coin return, but nothing. Now my dimes were being held against their will!

I took the rest of my dimes and went off to get more dollars, given that this soda machine had issues with small coinage. I returned with more dollar bills and a few quarters, slipped a dollar into the machine’s mouth, and before I could insert a second dollar bill, the first was changed for 20 nickels.

I tried one last time, inserting two quarters into the coin slot first, but soon these were changed for 10 more nickels. OK, OK I get the point: drink the hotel’s (free, warm) tap water!

In other news, remind me to tell you about my new car’s navigation system.

Youth Summer Jobs Now!
Dr. Hart To Cardiology - Stat!
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Thursday, 20 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!