PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Youth Summer Jobs Now!

 

Next year, when my daughter turns 8, I’m going to get her a job parking cars. I won’t ask her to get behind the wheel and back into spots (yet) like valet parking attendants, but instead wave cars into the family lot, point out vacant spaces, and take $20 from each driver.

I used to think she was too young for this, but on a recent trip to Hull, MA, I found a parent who doesn’t baby his kids the way I coddle mine. Stuck in a nasty beach-traffic snarl, I peeled off down a side street and was surprised to find a young lass no taller nor much older than my own, getting valuable work experience taking crisp $20 bills from people desperate to get out of their cars and onto the beach. She even expertly directed cars into available parking spots. (Um... where are Mom and Dad, little one?)

Meanwhile, my daughter is spending her summer days with her nose in a book or running around in sprinklers and drinking lemonade. When I ask how her college fund is doing, she gives me a blank stare or just rolls her eyes. Imagine all the compound appreciation my daughter is losing while the 2nd-grade Hull parking attend-ette is raking it in. The charade ends now.

All I need to do at this point is pave our yard, paint a few lines, and put up no parking signs all over my neighborhood to create demand. (It would also help to have a beach nearby).

Young Punks
Your Change, Sir
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Sunday, 23 September 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!