As I Show In My Book
I recently learned that in order to employ the phrase “as I point out in my book,” it’s best to have actually written a book. Ideally, this book you will have written has also been published, and furthermore it would help (though it’s not entirely necessary) if the book isn’t so much a random collection of unrelated words as actual sentences that are grouped together in such a way as to shed light on some mystery that has perplexed man since the beginning of time.
This revelation comes after years of wondering why Tom Ashbrook doesn’t call me and invite me on his little radio show to discuss whatever it is he’s interested in discussing – the earliest moments of our universe; the political and social disarray in Ukraine; the steady disappearance of mom-and-pop stores on Main Street USA. I voiced my dismay at being snubbed by Mr. On Point over beers at a local pub when my friend alerted me that it’s entirely likely to be the result of my having no book to hawk. Is that what it takes? I thought those people talking about their books were just saying that to make me jealous!
Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to write a book. The idea I’ve come up with (while sitting here) is to make my book a sort of literary triptych, in which I tie together the three seemingly unrelated subjects of the beginning of the cosmos, political disarray in Ukraine, and how golfing just once or twice a year is ruining my lower back. (Or is my ailing lower back ruining my once or twice per year golf habit? Better get that straight before I start in on the writing phase.)