Best And Final
For my next piece of performance art, I’ve decided to purchase houses without regard for price or condition. The average Joe on the street won’t know that I’m creating art. He’ll just think I’m an idiot.
But isn’t every artist thought of as an idiot for some period of time? Look at Vincent Van Gogh. Look at Rene Descartes.
The fact is, there isn't a single house-purchase-artist who became rich during his lifetime (go ahead and look it up), and it takes many years more for us risk-takers to finally get our due, because it takes a long time for stupid real estate decisions to pan out, centuries sometimes, when that back alley chicken shack you bought finally becomes valuable beachfront property or has to be razed to make room for a landfill. And now the art circle is complete and you’re able to cash in.
You may be dead and unable to spend the money, but you will live on in the form of generations of offspring, and they’ll need money my friend. Lots of it. Thankfully, you, the dead artist, are able to endorse products even while six feet under, keeping generations of your family in the black. It’s amazing what they’ll be able to do 50 years from now with your likeness, a few computer processors and a little imagination.
My first task: petition the NEA for funding to make down-payments on houses.