PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Daddy's Little Helpers

 

When my kids write their memoires, they’ll probably cast me as an eccentric parent who drags them out to horse country in Dover, MA, to live in a 240 year old house. And once there, separated from their friends and bored to tears, I task them with drawing up plans to convert the little office on the property into a “guest house.”

Guest House! Get off it, Dad! It’s an old billing office for a water company for crying out loud!

But I’m undaunted: “Look, son. And you too, daughter. You’ll never be able to solve the world’s great problems, which my generation is working feverishly to saddle you with, if you can’t tackle this minor puzzle of how to take a little office cottage which, frankly, smells, and make it an inviting place for our visitors to stay in. Now get on it! If you need me, I’ll be in the barn making beer.”

The book’s climax comes when the brewery I start, dubbed "L'Abbaye de St. Pat", starts to generate serious profits and my kids are able to buy themselves BMWs and tell their friends in Dover-Sherborn Regional High School that we’re “off to Paris for Christmas.”

Cue the vomit bags.

The Aleman Cometh
Now Performing
 

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Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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