Dark, Brooding Monday

What did Monday ever do to deserve the negative press it routinely gets? You’d think it insulted someone’s mother the way people denigrate it. Like Tuesday is so much better! Well guess what Tuesday: you’re no Friday!

Of course, Saturday laughs at the way Friday thinks it’s so cool. “Dude, most of your day is spent at work!”. Friday slinks away with a little squiggly line over its head, like a fuming comic book character. Friday is thinking, yeah, but that first beer of the weekend is the best beer of the weekend, and it happens on Friday. How ya like me now!

But don’t give Saturday that B.S. It’s well-aware that it enjoys favorite child status, with the most recent workweek firmly in the rearview mirror and the next one two days ahead.

Sunday likes to claim it owns the top spot in terms of popularity, but it fails to mention that a large portion of the world’s population wants to sleep in on Sunday but instead must drag their tired butts out of bed in order to stick them into church pews. “Rejoice!” the priests say, “For this is the day the Lord has made!” But frankly, these priests would prefer to be sleeping off their hangovers as well.

Thursdays elbow their way in with frothy tankards of ale, belching out claims that, in the 21st century, most weekends begin the day before Friday during Thursday’s Happy Hour. True, but given that you still must go to a job on Friday, all Thursday is doing is peddling headaches at work.

Not that anyone asked, but my thinking on the matter is rather conventional: Saturday is the best, followed by Friday, then Sunday, then Thursday, and from there backward until you get to Monday.

Planning to gather data to ascertain which day of the week has most global cloud cover to substantiate my assertion that God takes pleasure in raining on our Saturdays.

Why Didn't You Tell Me?
While I Slept


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Monday, 19 October 2020

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