A lot of my friends have been complaining that Donald Trump has been unwilling to accept that more people voted for Joe Biden than they did for him. I totally get that. But look at it from the president’s vantage point: it’s really embarrassing for a guy who “never loses,” except, basically, all the time, to lose an election when the under-ballot candidates in his party seemed to succeed admirably.

Personally, I think the president isn’t looking on the bright side of this election outcome: that he garnered any votes at all is truly astounding. Who votes for someone who so clearly botched the global coronavirus pandemic response? Or blackmails an ally who is at war with an enemy? Or alleges that the only questionable votes are the ones cast against him?

Honestly, this should have been 159,795 votes for Biden, and 5 for Trump, conceding that Trump himself, Junior, Eric, Ivanka, and Jared all voted for the president. Melania abstained is my guess. She likely enjoys life in the White House, but she’d prefer to divorce this clown’s stupid ass and take some of his money before he goes bankrupt.

Of course, many of us Biden supporters aren’t appreciating the silver lining of Trump staying in the White House: we’ve never had a dictator in our country’s long and distinguished history, and it might be interesting to see what that’s like. Imagine how cool political poisonings would be on the nightly news! Maybe the administration could get hold of some of some Soviet-era toxins and “lose” a few electoral college electors (wink wink). Cue the alternates who’ll vote for whomever they please, or rather whomever the President tells them to vote for.

So much more exciting than accepting the will of the voters.