PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Dictator In Chief

A lot of my friends have been complaining that Donald Trump has been unwilling to accept that more people voted for Joe Biden than they did for him. I totally get that. But look at it from the president’s vantage point: it’s really embarrassing for a guy who “never loses,” except, basically, all the time, to lose an election when the under-ballot candidates in his party seemed to succeed admirably.

Personally, I think the president isn’t looking on the bright side of this election outcome: that he garnered any votes at all is truly astounding. Who votes for someone who so clearly botched the global coronavirus pandemic response? Or blackmails an ally who is at war with an enemy? Or alleges that the only questionable votes are the ones cast against him?

Honestly, this should have been 159,795 votes for Biden, and 5 for Trump, conceding that Trump himself, Junior, Eric, Ivanka, and Jared all voted for the president. Melania abstained is my guess. She likely enjoys life in the White House, but she’d prefer to divorce this clown’s stupid ass and take some of his money before he goes bankrupt.

Of course, many of us Biden supporters aren’t appreciating the silver lining of Trump staying in the White House: we’ve never had a dictator in our country’s long and distinguished history, and it might be interesting to see what that’s like. Imagine how cool political poisonings would be on the nightly news! Maybe the administration could get hold of some of some Soviet-era toxins and “lose” a few electoral college electors (wink wink). Cue the alternates who’ll vote for whomever they please, or rather whomever the President tells them to vote for.

So much more exciting than accepting the will of the voters.

Deep Upstate
 

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Tuesday, 01 December 2020

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Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

It's unlimited
Presidential harrassment
Dems are going nuts!

 

Isn't it nice when
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Thanks to Saudi A!

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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