PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Fixation

I never say to my wife, “Honey, fix me a drink.” If I wanted my drink fixed, I’d first have to break it. That’s easy enough. Try concocting a new drink on your own with whatever you find in your liquor cabinet and I can almost guarantee that it will need fixing. Or have someone fix you a dirty martini. Take one sip of that overly salty and gross concoction, and you'lll agree that it will badly need fixing, which can only be accomplished by either diluting the olive juice with a lot more vodka, or throwing out the drink and starting anew.

Of course, no one says, “Honey can you fix this drink? It’s pretty badly broken.”

Until now, that is. My go-to phrase at parties whenever someone wants a drink fixed will be, "Why? What's wrong with it?" Once people start to see me as the life of the party, I'll start hitting them up for money to start up my brewery. 

Gotta run. I’m supposed to be fixing the kids’ breakfasts.

Observatory Ale
Squeal Like A...
 

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Tuesday, 13 November 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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