PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Freak Out

The first time I ever attended a freak show was at the New York State Fair in the late 1970s (or maybe it was a circus), when you could call people who were missing limbs “freaks” and no one would think twice about it. After seeing the sword swallower, the fire breather, and more memorably the guy whose hands had grown right out of his shoulder sockets instead of at the end of arms (he demonstrated for us how he managed to shave with this physical handicap) I swore that that was the end of freak shows for me.

Of course, I didn’t realize I’d one day visit Los Angeles, a city that is, in many respects, the biggest freak show on earth. And the closer you get to the beach, the freakier the show gets. So there I was in LA County at Venice Beach with Howard and his friends Mike and Karen, when Karen says to Mike, “Which direction should we head, that way or freak show?”

“Freak show!” declared Mike without hesitation.

So we headed in the freak show direction, and I was not disappointed, as every stripe of weird (and/or stoned) human being was freakily displayed along our route. Interestingly, however, the citizens I was walking among, while freaky, were not what my new friends were referring to; instead, there was an actual five dollar freak show along the route, with a huckster outside enticing us to enter, and none other than Larry “The Wolf Boy” Gomez ushering us in.

Once inside, my five dollars was taken by an actual bearded lady, who grumpily pointed me in the direction of the stage, where several people performed some of the same not-so-freaky but pretty gross stuff on stage that I had seen back in the day.

So I have once again sworn off freak shows. Which, I suppose, means I need to shut off my internet connection. Farewell, freaky world!

Late Apologies
Dude, That's Uber Scary
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!