Free, Range Eggs
My old friend Sly told me that once, when he was in England for a summer, he saw a sign on an old English roadside farm stand that read “Free Range Eggs.” This was quite a long time ago – like the early 20th century (OK, not quite that long ago) – when free range eggs and organic foods were forbidden by holy edict.
Sime (another nickname of his, along with “Mr. Simons”) thought, what the heck, why not get a dozen while I’m here, so he knocked on the door and told the crusty old English farmer that he was there to get his “free eggs.” At which point the farmer unleashed a pack of soccer hooligans on Simon to provide a right proper ass-whuppin’. (Or maybe he just laughed at him.)