Grand Finale


When I think about the works of art I should plan to create at some future point in time, I mainly focus on trying to do something totally different than what anyone in the world has ever done. For example, I could ride a motorcycle straight into the support girders of a freeway bridge. You might point out that this has been done many times since motorcycles and girders first began sharing space on this planet, but I don’t believe it has ever purposely been done for the sake of art. In my case, I will have someone videotape the event to be shown at a gallery. At the opening, the artist will be present, as is customary, in a casket sealed in a glass case.  

I’m well aware that this particular art exhibit would be the last for me, so I’m keeping it in my back pocket for use later in life. Perhaps, when I’m 110 and feeling like I’ve accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish in life (a very likely scenario by then), I’ll whip it out to set the art world on fire! This would also provide financial support for my children, since I will draw up plans for the project and, upon the work’s execution, will have my estate sell the plans to the highest bidder. The sale will also cover costs over-and-above what the art-socialite benefactor has provided, ensuring that no one is saddled with debts for my golden casket enclosed in a bulletproof glass display case, as is essential to the work. (Look, I’ve already told the NEA about the casket and bulletproof glass case when I applied for the funding, so I can’t go back on that now, and though I never mentioned in the application that the casket would be made of gold, objectively speaking, that should be obvious!). Finally, and perhaps most importantly, this will release me from the fate of most 110 year old artists, who find their work has slowed to a trickle, or else are already dead. I refuse to peter out and allow myself to fade from the collective consciousness of the art world!

Now, problem 1: What if motorcycles are an outmoded form of transportation 60 years from now, when I’m just about 110? Here is where I stop blogging and contact my lawyers about language in my draft plans. Thank you for your understanding.

The Big Sneeze


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Thursday, 20 June 2019

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



It's unlimited
Presidential harrassment
Dems are going nuts!


Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!


The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?


Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers


“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.



We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year



United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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