PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

It's Frank's World, I Just Live In It

The black feline, temporarily abandoned by his vacationing owners, greets me with a pained grunt of resignation as I enter the dark room cheerily and make a show of being the friendly visitor. “Meow meow!” I say. His response is something akin to a disappointed, human sigh. “Oh. You. Yes, yes, come in then.” He turns and heads off into the kitchen. “Why do they keep sending you? You might as well know: I don’t particularly like you, but I need the food. That’s right, up there, on the kitchen table. Just open it up, scoop it out, and back away, nice and easy.  No sudden moves. Now the dry food. Good, good. You’re a good boy. You’re gonna get out of this alive. Alright, I’m gonna eat, see, and you’re gonna go down in the basement, nice and slow like a good boy, and you’re gonna clean the poop out of my litter box.”

This inner monologue of his (or is it really mine?) continues while he chows down. I return before he’s done and try to strike up a small conversation. He ignores me, this urban cat-artiste, this dark and brooding feline. Before leaving, I offer a few brief words of advice, some mottos that a cat, alone in a house with nothing to do but ponder the meaning of life, might find useful. “If someone tries to come in through the window,” I say, “he probably isn’t legit so go for the eyes.” This is my passive-aggressive way of suggesting that my entering through the front door, with my own key, is proof that I’m a friend. My words are met with a blasé air of indifference. If he had a cat cigarette he’d light it and blow the smoke in my face. “Go, go,” he seems to be saying. “My people will be back tomorrow.”

Sorry, Frank, but I’m afraid it will be me again.

Frank looking awayFrank: The Unauthorized Photo

 

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Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum

 

 

NBC FAKE NEWS
The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?

 

Investigations
Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.

 

Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.

 

Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?

 

The Special Counsel
Is UNCONSTITUTIONAL
I’ve done nothing wrong

 

 

The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit

 

Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

My best poll numbers

 

“Caravans” coming

Must go nuclear option.

NO MORE DACA DEAL!

 

We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country

FUND THE BORDER WALL

 

Trade Wars are good and

Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!

 

Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting

 

Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information

 

Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax

FBI/Russia

 

Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.

 

 

Tax cut/Reform bill

Massive Alaska Drilling

Incredible Year

 

 

United Nations

Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death

 

 

False Accusations.

Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.

 

Army Navy Game

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF'S TROPHY

Congratulations

 

Pelosi/Schumer

He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.

Vets. Guns. VOTE ROY MOORE!

 

 

Time Magazine Called

Prob'ly "Person of the Year"

I took a pass. Thanks!

 

The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.

 

Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

Be fired for Fake News? 

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