It Takes All Types


At the gym, where I work out a couple times a week (pumping iron, getting stoked and ripped, etc.), I have observed two distinct types of exercisers.

The first type is almost always male. He storms in loudly, clad in cotton shorts and a muscle shirt. Having just spent half an hour on the elliptical trainer, he is sweating profusely. Despite the prevalence of (free) “sweat towels,” he opts instead to air-dry, but not until after he uses the equipment. He grunts and groans his way through a few exercises, depositing as much of his perspiration onto the seats and paddings and handles of the machines as he can muster. It’s amazing a person can sweat that much! Then, he leaves, the equipment still glistening with his salty bodily fluids.

The second type can be either male or female. S/he doesn’t sweat at all, wears “lifting gloves” and full body leotards. Before using a machine, this type of athlete will over-soak some paper towels in disinfectant (conveniently kept atop the paper towel dispenser), and will proceed to wipe down every inch of the equipment s/he is about to use, even the weights themselves. S/he has also visited a physical therapist or orthopedist before working out, who advised her to start by lifting feathers and move up from there. And so s/he spends half an hour doing what amounts to tai chi on the chest-press machine, moving a single 5 pound weight up and down with excruciating leisure, such that lines form behind him/her. After the “work out,” s/he returns to the paper towel dispenser to disinfect the machinery anew, leaving it glistening as much as that the sweaty male did who used it half an hour earlier, such that the next user (you) has to get more paper towels to dry off the damned thing.

As with just about everything in life, sensible gym etiquette falls somewhere in between these two extremes.

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Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Trumpian Tweetage Haiku Continuum



It's unlimited
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Dems are going nuts!


Isn't it nice when
Countries help rebuild neighbors?
Thanks to Saudi A!


The Harvey Weinstein Story
Look at their license?


Republican Congressmen
Two wins now in doubt.


Dems love Sessions now
Same thing: lyin' James Comey
Saint-like. Really sick.


Russia: "nothing to
do with meddling." Why isn't
Hillary looked at?


The Special Counsel
I’ve done nothing wrong



The phony witch hunt

The soon to be released book
Looks like a big hit


Fake News Media

Together with the witch hunt:

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We don’t have a wall

Not going to have a country



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Easy to win. They get cute?

Don't trade; we win big!


Gun-adept coaches

Weapons-talented teachers

Instantly Shooting


Promote the Fake Book

Mentally Deranged Author

False Information


Now that collusion

With Russia: a total hoax



Kim Jong Un, I too

Have a nuclear button.

And my button works.



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Incredible Year



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Sanctions on North Korea

World wants Peace, not Death



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Women I don't know. FAKE NEWS!

Collusion. Russia.


Army Navy Game





He's bad on Crime, Life, Border.




Time Magazine Called

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I took a pass. Thanks!


The Christmas Story

Mother, Father, Baby Son

Jesus Christ. Bahrain.


Matt Lauer just fired

When will top executives

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