PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Mr. Blimp

In my many years of predicting the future, I have never been so wrong as I have about the period in which we currently live. I thought I had it nailed!

That we’re not flying personal blimps to and from work by now I find very odd. I had long thought personal blimps were the transportation of the future, but other (lesser) futurists have thrown cold water on my ideas by claiming that once a lot of people start flying personal blimps to work, well, you’d start to need blimp traffic signals. Which implied blimp accidents, and blimp rollovers, and blimp traffic jams. Which implied not much better than what we currently have. I was sure we were on the precipice of a great blimp movement, but people got so freaked out by this misinformation campaign that no one would get behind the blimp idea, and it petered out.  

Alas! And now it turns out there isn’t even much road traffic. Do you realize that I drove from West Roxbury to Cambridge and never once touched my brakes? Slight exaggeration: there were some geese that wouldn’t get out of the way, but after that it was just give it gas and turn the wheel.

My personal opinion, It’s important to get into your car now, while gas prices are low and you are actually allowed to go to the ski slopes.

Wait a minute: can we still ski?

Coronavirus Novel
And On My First Day In Office...
 

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Tuesday, 26 May 2020

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