New TV Series: "Rick Swat: Tough Guy, Gentleman"
I’ve always wanted to be a tough guy, if just for a day. Not a jerky tough guy who bullies smaller folk, but a gentlemanly sort of tough guy, who cheerfully opens doors for people and is quick with a friendly “hello”, but also is quick with his fists in a pinch – i.e. not me. (Oh, sure, I’m fine with doors and all, but fists? No.)
But in my role as lead time-waster in the family (i.e. the family “writer”), I am regularly required to come up with a new way to make a zillion dollars, and therefore will begin developing a TV series with me in the role of Rick Swat, the lead character in this gritty, tough-guy drama. Rick, who dresses sharply (also not me) and is always a gentleman, works in a corporate financial office and has become embroiled in an apparent white-collar criminal enterprise, the tentacles of which grow before our eyes. Rick is anguished by the scandal because some of his good friends are apparently involved, including a woman he has a wicked crush on, who is both beautiful and ultra-smart, holding an advanced degree in economics (and maybe something else!). Always the gentleman, Rick continues to open doors for "Candy" (unlikely name for someone with a Ph.D. in Economics, but I like it) and other felonious “friends” whenever it’s convenient.
The feds pressure Rick into becoming a paid informant, and when he doesn’t deliver enough hard evidence, they lean on him big time. He hates those federal bastards and doesn't want to turn evidence against Candy because she's such a hot babe! As he investigates the huge international financial scheme, he finds himself needing to kick people’s asses here and there. This white-collar criminal enterprise has, you can imagine, a dark underbelly, where lowlifes looking for trouble inhabit seedy parking lots and need to be taught lessons by gentlemanly tough guys.
I've still got to work out some details: 1) Does he open doors for the seedy parking lot inhabiting low lifes?; 2) If he’s getting in street fights, wouldn’t that show at the office? He’s bound to sustain a black eye or broken ribs. How would he hide that?; 3) Lots of other stuff.