Really and Truly, Absolutely, Unequivocally Must! (Or, Maybe, Not)

The Red Sox fan inside me, like an obsessed drug addict, can’t stop the craving. In this case, the addiction is not to an opioid but to the far uglier drug of local baseball talk on sports radio. Despite his loathing of most sportsblabber hosts and virtually all of their inane, infuriated callers, this fanatical baseball follower is easily entangled in their over-analytical webs of baseball jabber or engulfed in their downward spirals of negativity, for no other reason than that Boston is in the World Series.

To wrest himself partially free, he seeks out a sports-methadone fix via the St. Louis sports radio station, “101Sports.” This ought to bring a fresh, Midwestern perspective, no?

No, actually. Instead, the 101 bluster is somehow more insufferable than even what Boston’s own “98.5 The Sports Hub” and its hired Band of Yellers transmits. Not only does 101 seem to have (impossibly) more commercials than The Sports Hub and WEEI combined, but one of their yammering “experts” testified prior to game 1 of the World Series that it was “a must-win for the Red Sox.”

If game 1 was a must win, then game 3 must have been a really must-win, and game 4 (last night; did you see it?!) could only be called a really really must-win, making games 5, 6, and, if we get there, 7 really really really, really really really really, and really really really really really (respectively) must-win games. (Like, truly must-win).

Ultimately, it matters not. By the end of this week, once the dust has settled on the 109th World Series, I’ll have hit rock bottom with this addiction and can finally begin my road to recovery.

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Wednesday, 02 December 2020

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